For as long as I remember, I've been afraid to love—to love in the purest sense—and through this love, to truly live.
There are these lines from Lord Tennyson's poem, In Memoriam A.H.H.:
I hold it true, whate'er befall;I feel it when I sorrow most;'Tis better to have loved and lostThan never to have loved at all.
I’ve been an ardent advocate of the opposition, especially as I’ve grown older. Yet throughout my life, through the good choices and the horrible ones, this is true: it is the very thing I’m drawn to—a moth circling in towards an ever-burning flame.
We cannot know love without loss. The profound pain of loss and the nature of love itself—immense, vast beyond comprehension, infinite—is deceptively terrifying. I say “deceptively” because I’ve glimpsed it and survived.
One of my dearest friends, Pamela Cafritz, has been helping me through this. With the same gentle, caring hand she’s demonstrated consistently in our friendship, she suggested I watch this video a few days ago for “inspiration.”
The video, When I Die: Lessons from the Death Zone, was deeply moving to me. If you’re also on a quest to overcome fear to love, to live, I hope this inspires you too.
Thank you Pamela, and thank you, Philip.