Of hotdogs and quarantine

Photo by Erda Estremera on Unsplash

As parts of society have devolved further into conspiracy theories and such, perhaps the greatest gift of quarantine, for me, has been reconnecting with the people closest to my heart. My best friend from college is front and center, but more on that angel later.

Another best friend has been a beacon through some of my darkest moments—ever patient, kind, thoughtful, never expecting anything in return, always buffering my pain with his tremendous artistry and sense of humor.

Tonight, I stopped by a gas station that was closed due to COVID-19 guidelines. The lights were still on, but when I pulled on the door, I figured I just missed the mark. I peered inside, finding no movement, except something small out of the corner of my eye. I texted him once I was back in the car.

– There is nothing sadder than a lonely, old, forgotten hotdog going round and round on that Ferris-wheel of a grill after the gas station has closed. (Pause) OK, there are sadder things. But still.

– You are as that hot dog. (Pause) As are we all.

Here’s to my friend and all of us lonely hotdogs out there.

Fret not, we will soon be warmly swaddled between two buns.

Stay safe. Wear a mask.

P.S. Love to Noam Chomsky, my hotdog in dog heaven.

Superpowers

Photo by Mahdiar Mahmoodi on Unsplash

My friend: You should see the thunder and lightning, it's pretty impressive.

Me: It'd be pretty impressive if I saw thunder.

My friend: If you were an X-Man, your power would be being literal. Which is still better than mine, because mine would just be grammar.

Foot for thought

The timing of events can be eerie sometimes. I was having a conversation with a couple of friends earlier today on being right. We weren't talking about your regular, run-of-the-mill rightness; no, this was the wrong type of right—I'm talking stealth, ninja, smokescreen, the works. When you're on the receiving end, you feel something is terribly wrong, but it's hard to put your finger on it because what the person says is seemingly reasonable. And when you're the giver, even if you're aware you've just put your entire foot in your mouth, you go right ahead and reach for the other one.

A few hours later this little gem arrived from my friend, Sean. (I wasn't able to find the author of this image, so if you know the source, please let me know.) Aaah timing!

Ever feel like this sometimes? Meme too.

We may never really know how this started, but it's caught on. It came to me via a dear friend with a most peculiar sense of humor. I bet you'll be hearing about him again, so I might as well introduce you: Sean, say "Hello Everybody!"